I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
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