In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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