my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
