i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
