i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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