I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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