Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
ttyl tear gas
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize