He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
