OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
