So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Everclear isn't food dammit
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
