In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
