We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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