i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
