We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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