Don't you send me to vm
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
