I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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