just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
