Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
