go do what you do best...puke behind churches
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
