doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize