If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Randomize
