When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize