it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
