For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
