New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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