Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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