this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
