theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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