maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Fuck appropriateness.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
