and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize