Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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