don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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