tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
