I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think people are normalizing furries
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize