the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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