Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
