More tranny stories later!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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