Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
