You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
