i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
