Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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