More tranny stories later!
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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