I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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