Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize