He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
