Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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