We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
