return my video game
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You're my little dorito
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
