It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize