You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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