you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
