You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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