I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
