how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Randomize
