But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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