Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
