he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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