Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize