He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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